So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
