When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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