Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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