no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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