I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
