You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
