eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
He shit in the fireplace
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
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