My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
