so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
