hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
