there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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