i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I wear drunk well.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize