i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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