then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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