What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
