Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
i dont even know how to be here
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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