If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
