you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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