The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
