So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
