when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
