Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Randomize
