I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
