Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Lo siento on account of my penis...
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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