i don't like sucking hair
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize