Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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