Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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