my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
