mondays should just be called national damage control day
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
