Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize