i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
