Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
