dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
