Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
And then he peed in my hair
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