Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
