Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
