I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
