Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
