I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
