How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
