You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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