piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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