it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
