I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Found the puke drawer
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
