So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
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