Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
