My sheets look like a crime scene.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
