Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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