Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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