If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I wannas sexs uuuuu
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Randomize
