It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
