It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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