I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
