No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
