I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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