im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
