My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize