just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
