we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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