I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize