i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Randomize
