i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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