Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
