how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
This is my gift to your gina
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
