great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
