How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
